


Experimental Equations, Or The One Where Wild Uses Glitches

by AideStar



Series: Linked Universe Fics [14]
Category: The Legend of Zelda & Related Fandoms
Genre: Crack, Crack Treated Seriously, Fluff and Crack, Glitches, I also put the Wild and Flora can do complex math in their heads hc in here bc I adore it, Linked Universe (Legend of Zelda), Wild (Linked Universe)-centric, basically Wild demonstrates glitches for Flora and some of the boys, shenanigans ensue
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-24
Updated: 2020-06-24
Packaged: 2021-03-04 05:34:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,542
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24898510
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AideStar/pseuds/AideStar
Summary: “It’s called a wall clip. No idea how it works, but if I shield surf at just the right moment while jumping towards a wall I can pass through it.” Wild explained, before a haunted look replaced the grin. “Or get stuck inside. That’s not very pleasant.”Twilight didn’t want to know.---The group ends up in Wild's Hyrule and Flora shows up with some "experiments" she wants to perform. Cue Wild using glitches and Twilight losing his mind.
Relationships: Flora & Wild (Linked Universe), Twilight & Wild (Linked Universe)
Series: Linked Universe Fics [14]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1758937
Comments: 39
Kudos: 611





	Experimental Equations, Or The One Where Wild Uses Glitches

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first attempt at crack. It's serious, oops! I wrote another crackfic yesterday though and it's much looser, so I'm learning lol. I thought it would be a nice break from the heavy angst of The Point of No Return, but I will be back to angsting tomorrow most likely! All your comments have made me sooo happy aaa, I've been buried under them for a good 3 hours trying to reply so give me a bit more time ack! As always, if you enjoy the fic please leave a comment and kudos!! They make my day and give me the braincells I need to write more!!
> 
> (Also, special thanks to Anourth and Mimi! They encouraged me to try my hand at crack, so this wouldn't have been written without them <3)

It was a beautiful morning in Wild’s Hyrule and the group was getting a much needed break in Hateno to enjoy it. Half the heroes were still asleep as the sun fully rose over town, even as Wild finished preparing breakfast. With the amount of bedrolls and bags scattered over the floor the group decided to eat outside, sitting under the tree beside a cook pot and watching as the peaceful town woke around them. Wild was happy for the quiet moments like this; Twilight on his right talking with Time and Hyrule and Legend teasing a barely awake Wind to his left. It was a good day, and as Wild looked out over the town he spotted a familiar person making their way towards his home. She wore a practical tunic and pants, long blonde hair pulled up, and she had a notebook under one arm as she approached. Wild felt anticipation bubble up inside him as her emerald eyes met his across the bridge.

“Link, it’s been too long!” Flora called with a polite smile as she made her way towards the small gathering of heroes.

The casual joking and conversations ended as the Princess--Queen, shoot, he had to remember that--joined their circle. Wild stood with a grin and found himself pulled into a quick hug, Flora’s eagerness already leaking through the formal demeanor she tried to keep up while in public. When she pulled away Wild could see the familiar glint in her eyes and he knew today was about to get _far_ more interesting.

“Zelda, I hope you’re doing well.” Wild greeted with a grin.

“As well as one can when studying under Purah. _She never sleeps,_ ” Flora said the last part under her breath and Wild couldn’t hold back a chuckle at that.

“Everyone, this is Queen Zelda,” Wild turned to the group, gesturing casually. “Or… Flora, right?”

Flora nodded before letting out a surprised squeak as the group stood, greeting her with formal bows or enthusiastic handshakes. Wild snickered at her side even as she shot pleading looks that morphed into accusatory glares as he stood by in amusement.

“It’s an honor to meet you,” Twilight greeted from a bow and Flora quickly shook her head, an embarrassed look on her face.

“Please, that’s really not necessary.” Flora insisted as the heroes backed off, a light blush on her cheeks. Wild grinned behind his hand and she glared sharply at him before whacking his shoulder with her book. “I’m not here on royal business, just stopping by to talk to a friend.”

“What can I help you with?” Wild asked, eagerness spilling over as a mischievous smile spread across Flora’s face.

“Will you be in town for long? I was hoping to continue our… _research_.” Flora winked, and Wild felt his own conspiratory grin form. Twilight looked between the two as concern spread across his features. The rest of the group recognized Wild’s grin far too well, but where Twilight deflated, Legend, Hyrule, and Wind grinned and Time smiled in amusement.

“Today _is_ a day off…” Wild looked to Time for approval while Twilight shook his head emphatically. The oldest huffed out a laugh and gave an approving nod, causing Twilight to groan. “I don’t see why I can’t help.”

“Wonderful!” Flora cheered, opening her journal and flipping through the pages quickly. “It’s been quite a while since our last tests, so how about we redo them and see if there have been any changes?”

“Sounds good to me,” Wild smirked. Twilight set a hand on his shoulder and fixed him with a tired look, pleading.

“What kind of tests?” Twilight’s voice was strained and it only made Wild grin wider.

“Well you see, Link--er, Wild--developed some interesting abilities after waking from the Shrine of Resurrection. It was an untested piece of Sheikah technology, and after Wild defeated the Calamity, Purah requested we perform some tests to determine the extent of the abilities.” Flora explained excitedly, hands moving animatedly, and Twilight only seemed to get more alarmed.

“What kind of abilities?” Twilight asked Wild, and the scarred teen only bit his lip as his smile grew larger.

“Why don’t you come along and see for yourself? It’s quite entertaining to watch,” Flora offered, and Wild could see the mirth swirling in her eyes as she met Twilight’s.

“Oh, can I come too!” Wind bounced excitedly, and Legend and Hyrule nodded in agreement.

“You kids have fun,” Time smirked, stepping back towards the house with a wave before disappearing inside. Twilight slumped, arms folded and resigned look on his face. Wind cheered excitedly and Flora and Wild exchanged a manic look.

“Where to first?” Wild asked, and Flora hummed over her own slate, paging through the map in thought.

“Let’s start with something easy to warm up?”

“Sounds good to me,” Wild shrugged, then pulled out his slate.

“Where are we going?” Wind asked eagerly as Wild linked arms with him and a reluctant Twilight.

“The Great Plateau,” Flora replied before the world dissolved into blues and the ground disappeared from under them.

They quickly reformed on a peak overlooking Hyrule Field, the Castle lit by the newly risen sun in the distance and a gentle breeze rustling the grass. Wild steadied Twilight as the older hero stumbled, still unused to the teleportation travel. Flora wasted no time, notebook open and pencil at the ready, and Wild stretched out his arms in prep.

“Let’s try a BIL first…” Flora announced, and Wild nodded with a smirk, pulling out the slate once more. “We’re all going to want to stand back for this.”

The group shuffled back, curiosity consuming them as Wild equipped a beat up shield and gave a thumbs up.

“What does BIL stand for?” Legend asked, brows raised as Wild rapidly moved from using his shield on his arm to hopping on top of it. How the hell was he doing that so fast?

“Bomb impact launch,” Flora replied casually, and Twilight’s eyes widened in fear before Wild began to run.

They were about halfway up the side of a cliff, the fall decent enough to break bones for sure, but Wild rushed off the edge with his shield raised and a grin on his face. He jumped, shield switching position to be beneath his feet, and then a glowing bomb materialized for a split second beneath the thin metal barrier. Wild detonated it midair and let out an excited woop before sailing through the air at impossible speed, arms raised in triumph as he became a speck on the horizon.

“Holy shit,” Legend gasped while Wind cheered beside him. Hyrule placed a hand on Legend’s shoulder, eyes wide in surprise as Flora scribbled furiously in her notebook. Twilight looked like he was about to faint.

A few moments later Wild returned, hair windblown and cheeks flushed with a wide grin on his face. “Farthest yet, I had to eject.”

“I’ve told you before, if you break a window it’s alright. Check my math,” Flora handed the notebook to Wild, who skimmed the barely decipherable writing and then nodded in approval.

“This is right. If I were 2.1 meters higher I could’ve cleared the castle. I would’ve kept going, but I don’t feel like using a hearty elixir so soon.” Wild chuckled, and the group’s eyes widened in shock.

“You made it to the _castle?_ From _here?_ ” Twilight balked, and Wild nodded enthusiastically.

“How the hell does that trick work? How is that even possible?” Legend exclaimed, eyebrows raised high.

“Is it magic?” Hyrule’s expression was one of awe and mild horror, and Wild bit back a laugh.

“We call them ‘glitches’. No one else is able to perform the stunts Wild can pull off. Purah and I think the Shrine gave Wild increased reflexes which allow him to complete maneuvers in ‘bullet time,’ such as equipping weapons or detonating bombs in under a second.” Flora explained with a calculating look in her eye.

“So _that’s_ why you can shoot so quickly!” Legend shouted, and Wild chuckled. “That’s completely unfair. I want my fifty rupees back.”

“Let’s move on to the next test!” Wild announced, quickly jogging away as Legend shouted and ran after.

\---

Wild could do some crazy things, they soon found out. The bomb stunt was unbelievable, but nothing compared to the second, third, and following events.

“Watch this!” Wild called from beside a crumbling wall as Flora jotted in her notebook.

Wild equipped his shield once more, ran up to the wall, and jumped. The shield swung down to his feet and _through the wall_ , and when Wild landed he was gone. The four heroes stood in shocked silence until Wild popped back through the wall, grin on his face and appearing perfectly fine.

“That was awesome! What did you just do?” Wind cheered, racing over and flitting around Wild to check for evidence as the older teen laughed.

“It’s called a wall clip. No idea how it works, but if I shield surf at just the right moment while jumping towards a wall I can pass through it.” Wild explained, before a haunted look replaced the grin. “Or get stuck inside. That’s not very pleasant.”

Twilight didn’t want to know.

Next on the list was a stunt so bizarre and dangerous even Wind was watching with barely concealed horror. Wild stood atop a ledge, under which a Red Bokoblin stood, completely oblivious. Flora shot Wild a silent thumbs up as the group held their breath, and a moment later Wild jumped off the ledge, shield beneath his feet and bow drawn. Just before he landed the bow disappeared and the shield made contact with the Bokoblin’s head, knocking it out instantly. Instead of continuing to fall however, Wild shot straight up in the air with such speed they lost sight of him until the paraglider was unfurled overhead. Wild’s cheer was so far away they barely heard it, and moments later the teen was dropping from the sky fast, unfurling the glider a mere foot above the ground to break his fall.

“How the hell--” Legend began.

“Don’t even ask, that one doesn’t make any sense to us yet.” Flora interrupted, head buried in her book as she scribbled. “That was good height, but straight up? Maybe the direction of flight depends on which body part is landed on…”

Wild shrugged, shield back in the slate and hair a mess. “What next?”

“Well, we haven’t tried that glitch you used to increase your stamina and strength…” Flora tapped the end of her pencil against her chin.

“That one… may not be the best idea right now.” Wild replied weakly, rubbing the back of his neck. “I’ve maxed that all out, and I’m only free for the day, so…”

“Alright, but we will be testing it later.” Flora replied, and Wild nodded gratefully.

“You found a way to increase your strength without training?” Twilight asked incredulously, and Wild shrugged with a grimace.

“Well, I needed the Master Sword, but I wasn’t strong enough. And there’s this demon statue…”

“You know what, forget I asked.” Twilight groaned, and Wild nodded guiltily.

“Oh, I know one we can test!” Wild suddenly perked up, noticing the waning sun overhead. “It works best at my house, and since it’s getting late we might as well head back.”

A few minutes later the group was bursting into Wild’s home in Hateno, curious and excited looks on their faces. The rest of the heroes were inside playing cards and waved in greeting as they came in.

“How did the tests go?” Time asked, a knowing smile on his face as Twilight glowered in response and Wind bounced excitedly.

“They’ve gone well so far, just one more left for today.” Flora replied with a distracted smile as Wild removed a bow carefully from one of his wall mounts.

“How does this one work, exactly?” Hyrule asked hesitantly as Wild pulled the string on the bow with an assessing look.

“I’ve pulled this off a few times. It allows me to duplicate weapons,” Wild hummed, and Four looked up from his cards in surprise. “Let’s see if I can get it to work.”

Wild let the bow disappear into the slate, replacing it with a multishot one. He nocked an electric arrow and pulled back the string, aiming towards the floor and away from the group, but everyone still tensed and edged away. Instead of firing Wild dropped the bow, another quickly materializing in its place. He repeated the process several times--how many bows did he have exactly?-- until he pulled out a massive gleaming broadsword. Wild dropped it, then bent down to pick it up, and pulled out his slate with a grin. With a flash another identical sword fell to the ground, which was now covered in bows, and Wild put his hands on his hips with a grin.

Four and Sky blinked owlishly at the two swords while Time looked between Wild and the Biggoron sword with a mischievous glint in his eye. Flora grinned as she wrote.

“How is that even possible?” Four finally broke the silence, expression a mix of dread and curiosity as Sky clutched the Master Sword to his chest.

“No idea,” Wild replied as he set to work replacing the bows and swords into the slate. “I used it a lot on my last adventure to duplicate good weapons, since mine break so often. It doesn’t work when I’m not here, though…”

Four and Sky sighed in relief, relaxing back into their seats.

“Do any of the things you did today work in other Hyrules?” Twilight asked, and Wild shook his head sadly.

“Bullet time works but only for attacks, not glitches. I tried bomb launching myself in Legend’s Hyrule once and knocked myself out for a half hour.” Wild laughed, but quickly quieted as Twilight shot him a disapproving glare.

“You know, back on my first adventure I once duplicated a bottle…” Time began, and Flora scribbled faster.

“Oh! One time I woke up in the middle of the night and could walk on water! I thought it was a dream, but now that I think about it--” Wind piped up before Legend placed a hand over his mouth.

“No, there is no way--”

“I found a weird place in my Hyrule once. It was a strange village, the people there all repeated the same things, and the buildings were wrong…” Hyrule added and Legend froze.

“Fisherman’s World… there were beds in the dungeons…” Legend’s eyes went wide.

“I once woke up in Skyloft to find it completely empty. I couldn’t find a single person, I looked everywhere. I thought it was a dream because when I woke up the next day it was as if nothing had happened.” Sky had a distant and haunted look on his face as he spoke, and suddenly the heroes erupted into conversations of past oddities in their Hyrules, all while Flora wrote furiously in her notebook and Wild listened in surprise.

“Looks like this may be more of a Link thing than we initially thought.” Flora eventually whispered, and Wild nodded mutely. “Purah is going to be thrilled.”


End file.
